 Monday, September 30 Saturday, September 21
friends departing
Stac is gone as of today, I... am really at a loss for words, which is strange since I usually am better at this on paper/screen... Just know that I love you, I'll always be around to bother you, and I'll wait rather patiently to see you again, wherever that ends up. Well, that being said, I coming back home Monday night, so I just want to let everyone know that I intend to be spending time with you guys - if you'll have me - so please give me a call (e-mail me if you need my numbers) or drop me an e-mail while I'm there (I'll be using hotmail, so send it to this address, and hook stuff up - meaning, call me and say we're going here NOW, and to get my ass over there, come grab me, I'll be your little... ahem... slut so to speak, just let me know when things are happenning. You people better stop rolling your eyes... Well, it's too early in the morning, I think I'll go harass somebody. 10:15 AM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, September 19
Noy G'tat!
I have a headache (points to anyone who can guess where that phrase came from without using google). 3:22 PM | Jus | # | no commentsWednesday, September 18
I have never had such a hard time building a site. We went through SO many different logo variations, an ABSURD amount, all to come back to the original because we couldn't find anything we liked better. Anyway, I'm currently losing sleep over frostbyte's re-design, I'm trying to come up with just the splash page, and I can't bloody decide what the hell I'm going to do so I submit to you, idea 1, idea 2, and idea 3. Please help. Also, ANY ideas or advice are very welcome.
3:08 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, September 16
Egads.
I just spent about 30 minutes fixing the butkus blogger did to my template, and by some strange, yet unexplained occurance, files were removed from my sight folder and my css was altered, what the hell is up with that? Anyway, I chalk it up to blogger and me probably accidentally fucking up some files in the directory, anyway it's all fixed now, bloody hell. 10:28 PM | Jus | # | no comments
Yes indeedy.
I miss you, and you too. But anyway, time to fill in the readership... I quit my job, my ever so strange jobby-wob on the side, that wasn't really a job-job, but if you know me you know what it was. BUT whatever it was, it's over, and I'm bloody glad I have some time back, time to do whatever, whatever ever? It's about that time in the morning my head begins to spin, woke up just now, woke up at 8pm yesterday, strange days in some strange times, mix it with some strange dreams and you have yourself a half-life like you only imagined. I dreamt something about Christian, can't remember too much, and I dreamt something about Michelle, even fuzzier. Michelle left here on the 8th, a day before our 3 year anniversary (could not be helped), now I'm setting to go back to Trinidad from the 23rd to the 6th, things have been bad since she left, it's really hard to re-adjust to life without somebody when that somebody's supposed to be your life... Nights are the worst, I think my new, more screwed than usual, hours are more because of that than the fact I now can sleep to whatever time I want. I can't fall asleep, it's different, lonely isn't the word, it's like a phantom limb... Scott and I started pulling some serious time on the freelance, he's actually getting me to do some work, and he's on my back to re-design frostbyte, which will be done soon enough, we're throwing a new sleeker corporate feel for the web design company, so some shifting around of stuff on the front page may have to be done. Why does it seem like I write a whole lot more when I feel like I have nothing to say? Some cool things though, Rossi, Scott and I went down to see Stefan yesterday, we saw the Barbershop, it was good enough, but hardly even worth discussing after it was done, met one of Stef's friends from Trinidad, who I'm sure is a little traumatized by Rossi's complete lack of direction, we were trying to drop the poor girl home like nice young men and she was flipping out, I swear she was about to jump out the car... Finally saw Stef's apartment, I love that shit, observing someone's living quarters, you find out just a little more about a body, like their 800 x 600 res eh Stef? Heheh. Anyway, that seems to be about it, I can't wait to see everyone back home, I can't wait to spend every waking - and sleeping - moment with Michelle again, now it's off to the task of falling back to sleep... 7:01 AM | Jus | # | no commentsSaturday, September 14Friday, September 13
Jesus, I just got one of the most painful e-mails, only certain people can really reach into you with just two sentences and rip everything out, throw it on the pavement and spit on it, only people you really don't want to lose, and when suddenly... hey, you find yourself at a point in your life when you can... or already have... lost them, the afore-mentioned ripping and spitting comes into play. One of the worst (many expletives deleted) feelings in the world.
I know where I went wrong, I know it 10 times over, there's so much bullshit to see through it's incredible, but god knows I don't want to lose someone who's been an important part of my life. I fucked up, and I'm sorry. 3:30 AM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, September 12
all the words we can pour into love, anger, regrets, pain...
we can't just be can we? we need to describe our experience, we need to give it form. but not all the words ever seem to be enough, nothing is, at no time do we ever stop and say, yes, there's nothing more to be said. we can't just shut up and feel. we can't help but fight to contain every little emotion in quotations, we can't just surrender to life, to the unbalanced universe and just let it swallow us up. I hate the words I'm typing now, I hate the fact I can't stop, I hate being a drone to my own god damn self. I long for the emotions to just be, the pureness of which I taste so briefly before I lock it down, catalogue it and move on to the next. just bleed my heart dry and soak up my soul because I can't use them the way I want, I can't be the man I want to be. and I don't know the meaning, I don't know why, and I can't accept the truth, I can't let it all just be, every part of me screams to not let go, not let go of my conjured concepts and structure, because it's so scary, so fucking scary to just be. 1:58 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, September 9
It's been three years and my love for you still grows with every passing day.
Happy Anniversay baby. 10:19 PM | Michy | # | no commentsSunday, September 8
Hey can anyone, anyone, PLEASE help me with a Mac problem, I've got this old Powermac with a G4 upgrade card in it, and I want to upgrade the OS, or install a clean version of 9.2 on it, only the machine refuses any attempt at an update or format, it gives some bogus error and does not allow it, I've sent it to one of Mac Guru friends and he came up empty, he's never seen a problem like this before, what the HELL can I do!?
10:16 PM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, September 5
To my estimation, to know someone is a life-long endeavor, with the reward not in the ultimate knowledge, but in the learning.
That’s my thought for today. Have fun in Boston Arthur, you elfin bastard. 4:21 AM | Jus | # | no commentsWednesday, September 4
Since I doubt I'll be around a computer when it comes 'round, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sonia, and I suppose even one to Darren too =P
5:41 AM | Jus | # | no comments
Sometimes I wish I had some wireless link from my brain to my computer.
But then I think that'd probably cause cancer *kof*. Anyway, past few posts fading away in my brain aside, here's something useful, ever wonder how the hell you're getting so much spam to e-mail addresses you never used to sign up for jack? Because of bots, why else, so here's a little script to help fool the bots for now: <script language=javascript> <!-- var x1 = "name"; var x2 = "whatever.com"; document.write("<a href=" + "ma" + "ilto:" + x1 + "@" + x2 + ">contact</a>") //--> </script> 5:32 AM | Jus | # | no comments |
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