AHEM, Ms. Chan, I just re-entered a "Cingular" area (i.e. no roaming) and apparently the messages were not lost, merely lingering in limbo until I re-entered Cingular country, so as soon as I arrived in New Jersey Monday, I got message, after message, after message etc. So I was not deluding myself you evil brute.
Jesus I can't keep up with your blogs, especially Regis, I need to reserve an entire day to catch up on the back log.
I have better internet access in NJ, James had an old MSN account that is apparently still up and running, go m... NO, anything but that saying...
Belated birthday wishes to Celine, Bana Boo, Abbie and Scotty ;)
I'm supposed to be going to Six Flags sometime soon, let you know if and when that happens. Hope the rest of you have a great week.
...in case you guys sent anything to the cell phone over the last day or so, I may not have gotten it because this roaming thing is screwing up most of my received calls / messages, fyi.
Okay, I'm officially in NY, I'll be out of the state until the 6th of July, so if you guys need to get in touch with me, please drop me a text message (email) on the cell phone, 'cuz I don't know how often I'll be able to find internet access, if need be, I've also got the hotmail account.
Dre, sorry I didn't get those files up on the FTP server before I left, finals and all these travel plans took priority, I'll hook it up as soon as I get back.
So, that's about it, stay tuned for the next installment... right =P
<this is what happens when you just start typing...>
and today is also the day we make fuck all to spend in the madrid casino nest off shore while I dance with the little nancy drew and feel a little fickle that my mind is furlong and ashy with piles of euro-sop and packs of nicotine in the endless fury of mascot sex for alabama foresight and foreskin. but behold the asinine existence of cows and mulberry bushes that serve no other purpose than to hell towards the flying sun and make my bed in def skinless drek for goo shoe girls.
I'm looking at the picture of Michelle next to me, and I can't help think in my head, how beautiful she is just there, how amazing she is to me, and how much I love her.
you know, you can only dream your lover next to you for so long, and when sleep doesn't come, when your eyes burn and the clock's green glow pales to the light breaking in through the slits in the blinds, you hold your face so close to the bed you almost stop breathing.
maybe you don't know.
but i can't do this every night, i will fall apart.
I could see all the loveless people, folding into one another, a mass of electromagnets, looking to see what attracted what. You'd see some connect, then lose their charge, building up for the next round, so it goes when your bed is empty and you heart is full, so full you can't bare the weight, lest it spill over in tears.
This is what I see every time I go to a club, bar, party, this is what I see in the drunken hazes and explosions in my head, what I see in between the bottom of my next glass, fighting, balancing the fine line between numbness and sickness, because I so want to be numb just then.
I don't want to connect, I don't want to feel or smile, to shout whispers into anyone's ears. I don't want the awkward glances and paranoid thoughts jumping from one smile to the other, I don't want anything but to ride my drinks home, turn off the lights, and let the numbness sing me to sleep.