 Wednesday, October 31
ah...
I have a game, or a request. It's late, enough, and I've compiled my 20 most sad/depressing/brooding songs, listen to this line-up people, and the mood is not far behind... billy joel - always a woman billy joel - she's got a way better than ezra - at the stars fisher - breakable bruce hornsby - mandolin rain del amitri - driving with the brakes on sting - fields of gold don henly - the end of the innocence nickel creek - when you come back down radiohead - fake plastic trees radiohead - bullet proof..i wish i was the cure - pictures of you the cure - apart david snell - the day all my dreams came true foo fighters - walking after you our lady peace - clumsy third eye blind - god of wine ben folds five - brick del amitri - tell her bob dylan - not dark yet now, what's yours? when I have a working burner, I'll make this cd. 1:57 AM | Jus | # | no comments Tuesday, October 30
stac, that song was by "Mono" (self-centered bunch, aren't they). I love that song. May I also suggest "More than this" from The Cure.
Hoozah. 12:42 AM | Jus | # | no comments
What can I say?
Justin's party was good - I got to drink Bass Ale and chill, my compadres weren't as sociable, but I didn't let them get me down. Then we went straight down to South Beach for the Sons of You show, and it was AMAZING, that's the best I've ever seen Arthur play. It was COLD as fuck, which I liked just fine, Rossi's friends were cool enough too, if a little young. All in all, it was a GREAT night, one of the best times I've had for months. When I get some pictures from Q I'll post them, I forgot my camera both nights, good thing too, I'd have probably lost it. Ah yes, after a weekend like this, you know it can only go downhill from here. Mark, what's with the "here today, gone tomorrow" comments on your page? I see you've steered clear of the whole quiz craze, that can't be said about most of us though... 12:22 AM | Jus | # | no commentsSaturday, October 27
Well.
I have this recurring dream, that I'm at my house in Trinidad, that I'm in the front yard, I start running and I start to fly. At first I'd never make it over the wall, then I'd hit a tree, then I'd only be able to stay up for a few seconds, but on a few nights, I'm superman or Peter Pan, I can go where I want to, taste the clouds and get away from everything so tiny now, on the ground. I love that dream, it's mine, and somewhere in the back of my head I really think it can happen, I really think I can just, disappear into the clouds. I've had this dream for a few years now, but last night, last night was the first time I felt lonely up there in the sky, at first it was great, white and blue dotting the sky, shorelines and cliffs, oceans and fields below me, but when I looked around where I was, when I stopped looking down, I saw how alone I was, I wished I could grab someone and take them up, steal someone from the ground, but I couldn't, I was just alone, floating in the sky. I don't really know what it means, I have some theories, but I still can't wait to touch the sky again. last night I must have been with the only group of people that leaves before the headlining act. I've never seen Reel Big Fish before, and I really wanted to see them, but my ride(s) did not, they were tired and a little sick from taking bad drugs, so I had to exchange RBF for free beer and chicken wings (which tasted oh so goooood). I DID however get to see Goldfinger, and they put on a MASSIVE show, it was fucking great, the lead singer came out in a Wolverine costume and the crowd went nuts, the highpoint of my night was when the played a Cure cover for "just like heaven", only one of my favourite songs ever, all the people who'd been singing along stopped, because this wasn't a Goldfinger track, and they were all too punk to know who the fuck the Cure was, so I think I was the only person singing along, I got a strange look from Justin while he said, "You know this song??!" People were crowd surfing during the entire set, not one moment of calm. All in all it was a pretty decent night, I chilled out by Jus for a while to make sure I was good to drive home, and went to sleep like a baby. Tonight - Halloween party and SOY show, eeks, this is too much for one weekend... 9:49 AM | Jus | # | no commentsFriday, October 26
I may be going to a "Reel Big Fish" concert tonight.
I am also 39% pure according to that Spark test I got off of Stacey's site. That's IT for me and these on-line tests, I went crazy and took them all, now NO more, I must have something more interesting to post... Tomorrow night I've got to go to Justin's Halloween party, maybe I can talk Devon or Rossi into going because I want to drink and I HAVE to drive so bleh. Then right from that party I've got to head into Miami to go to a "Sons of You" show, anybody willing to make that trip with me? That's about the size of my weekend, I hope to have some mildly interesting stories and / or pictures come Sunday. I haven't heard jack from CCTT, so I'm still in the dark, Dre send me those FLA files. *poof* 1:36 PM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, October 25
Hehehe, am I in trouble...?
Considering I'm 20% drunk, might prove interesting... Yes, I am in class, we went to "Durty Harry's" before this one... whooo, Sam Adam's... 6:08 PM | Jus | # | no comments
Yes I remember you.
Hmm, seems like I also remember her, check out the "photos" page. I search for strange things on google. 3:44 PM | Jus | # | no comments
YOU ARE 43% PUNK.
 The intelligent punk. Tuff and Smart. You may be able to maintain a train of thought long enough... What the fuck was I talking about? 9:26 AM | Jus | # | no comments
YOU ARE 52% GOTH.
 Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a good chance you're bi. Freakiness pumps through your viens, but you can still laugh at yourself. ...Um, okay... 9:16 AM | Jus | # | no commentsWednesday, October 24
People, these are the times I hate clients, so called "web designers", and trinidadian business in general.
Please, for the love of God, tell me whether you'd prefer this design/layout over the one I have already completed for the CCTT. Please be honest, for the sake of my sanity, because right now I'm feeling crazy. I have already completed the site, I mean, the site is done, finito, that's all she wrote, and now, after production is complete, I get a call from some design firm in Trinidad called "The Edge" and they explain to me they've done some "advertising" images for the site, they'd like to send it to me. Great, more work I think, but I have no choice but to help them get the files to me, after being denied by their POP server due to the file sizes, I literally have to call and walk through someone in their INTERNET department the process of using FTP to upload the files to me. First the concept of an "Upload" directory mystified them, so I made the fucking upload directory their ROOT so they could not cause me more headaches. Then I get these files. These fucking files. note: in addition to these files being ill-timed for production, they were all 1024 x 768, meaning the people designing them have no fucking clue about designing for the internet, not only do they assume everyone is using their display settings, they don't take into consideration menu and button real-estate on the bloody BROWSER. These files are nothing short of a COMPLETE overhaul of my design, making the 40+ pages that are DONE mere copy-and-paste documents for the content. I just wrote the company and pretty much asked them, "What the fuck is this?" very, very nicely. If these yahoos expect me to re-edit all those pages they're getting charged production AGAIN, because this is fucking ridiculous. 5:37 PM | Jus | # | no comments
I AM 37% GEEK.
 I probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. I never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But I have friends, and this is a good thing. 4:03 PM | Jus | # | no commentsTuesday, October 23
hey look, it's been 12 hours since my last post, and wouldn't you know it, I'm still awake...
I got some drawings done though, 30 of 100. Now, I'm going to sleep for 2 hours *I hope* and then die after 9 hours of class. Hoozah. question : Which is more important to tape, Frasier, or Smallville? 9:30 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, October 22
When you're bored enough to re-design your Internet Explorer start page, you know something's wrong.
Although I am proud of my "hub" that's been going strong for about 3 or 4 years now, it's still sad. I wish people kept my hours, so I'd have someone to bother right now. 6:30 AM | Jus | # | no commentsSunday, October 21
Inspiration doesn't grow on trees.
Don't waste it when it comes around. So tonight I went to an "engagement party" a friend of mine was at, I didn't know until I got there that it was his engagement we were celebrating. Talk about a kick in the head. Russel "Dos Man" Ramos is the man, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, it felt like home again. Old kaiso and calypso, the old foggies were actually doing the "electric slide", it was fucking great. Just being in good company can totally brighten your day, not to mention stuffing yourself. This guy is about 24 or younger and he's getting married, all his wife's family were there, nobody felt unwelcome, least of all me, she was gorgeous too I must say, Russel did himself proud. It made me imagine myself in his shoes, imagine what he must be feeling, taking that big gulp and stepping out into the unknown, stepping out into your own life, your own family, it must be an amazing feeling. Someone said, "If you don't get married after being with someone for 3 years you're never going to get married...", this after I mentioned I may be in Russel's shoes in about 2 years. So I said, "Okay, make that one." 2:50 AM | Jus | # | no commentsSaturday, October 20
7:09am, I've been trying to sleep since half 4.
I give up, I was hoping to get up at 3pm for the latest, doubt that will happen now. listening to: soggy bottom boys - I am a man of constant sorrow (best jamaican accent) DA's a BIG TUNE!!!! help, please. pills welcome. 7:11 AM | Jus | # | no commentsFriday, October 19
oh yeah, and just to note, I've not kept up with the popular music scene, so I'm lacking any large quantities of new stuff, please be nice and upload some, thanks.
9:53 PM | Jus | # | no comments
halo all, I've finally got back my DSL, so if anyone has song requests, please let me know, and you can access them through my ftp server, my song list is here, the ftp address supplied upon request.
peace. 9:47 PM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, October 18
I finally added a photo to the mirror project, after thinking about it for quite a while...
1:36 PM | Jus | # | no comments
does anyone remember a site that was accepting independent designs for t-shirts, they had some contest and they also had a fuckload of great designs, I think I got the link from Jairus, but manic's down and I can't get through with e-mail.
come on, SOMEONE must've seen this bloody thing, it was very sleek and had a high-end look, I hate not keeping proper bookmarks... arghhh. 5:12 AM | Jus | # | no comments
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low Schizoid: Low Schizotypal: Low Antisocial: Moderate Borderline: Low Histrionic: Moderate Narcissistic: Moderate Avoidant: Low Dependent: Low Obsessive-Compulsive: High Ah, it's a stupid test. 4:04 AM | Jus | # | no commentsTuesday, October 16
Oy, go download the sons of you track "blame" on my mp3 downloads to your lower left, I have also updated my template, see three new faces in the "ibelonghere" section and some minor link changes I'm sure you won't notice.
10:09 PM | Jus | # | no comments
keeping the masses happy at the expense of a great cartoonist.
*link via plastic* 9:32 AM | Jus | # | no comments
I find it a little lame and vexing that the film-makers of "From Hell" made no mention of Alan Moore in the "Making of..." special, he only wrote the book, from which your movie is based and titled, that's all. Bastards.
O.A.R. - holy shit Arthur you should check this site out! *link via emily from quietcity* *link crediting system stolen from manic ;-)* 8:53 AM | Jus | # | no comments
"...impossible to compare and contrast the importance (past present future) of rehana kavir trace justin (get out of bastard mode jus...)..."
...bastard mode. I know it's old, but she linked to it so I had to read it again. So, my current top nine (arranged in order of daily impact upon life and mood issues) list would look like: 1 - Michelle 2 - Arthur 3 - Christian 4 - Stacy 5 - Devon 6 - Rossi 7 - Vaughn 8 - Mom 9 - Krystle These are the people who are currently on my mind and have been my affecting mood, and what I do in the day. I don't need to say these are not the only people on my mind (but I do anyway), because to list the rest, would just be redundant, go visit easy 9 or something. Where are my friends. I got some good news recently, Jason is getting married, I'm sure none of you know who Jason is, so I'll elaborate. Jason and I went to Fatima together, and were in the same class since form 1, until he left after CXC, we were never what you would call "best buddies", only because we never did any of the things most friends of that sort do, we never slept over or had long meaningful talks about our lives, we never got to know each others' families and I don't think I've ever even seen his house. But that really didn't matter, because there was just something about him that struck me, that said that no matter what, this is one of the few people you meet in your life, one of those rare souls that can't hide the good and love in them, and I knew no matter what, this is a person I want in my life, in whatever capacity possible. I've often regretted not making more of an effort to spend more time with Jay, but it's amazing that even though we've had such limited contact after school, and even though a whole year lapsed while I was up here without talking to him, I called him last time I was in town and it was like no time had lapsed at all, I could see the familiar look in his eyes, a little stressed but mostly happy, and best of all, he didn't cuss me for not saying "boo" in a year. Now the good news I was speaking of, that just happened, he announced he was getting married, and amazingly enough, he said, "Hope you can make it, I was hoping you'd be the best man..." The best man... Jason, in a heartbeat. I guess it says something that he asked me, I guess it says that maybe he saw something similar in me, which makes me feel like I haven't screwed up too bad, baring recent events, words really can't describe it. I owe him that too. ...you know, crazy enough, I think I just wrote my speech. 7:58 AM | Jus | # | no comments
Halo, has anyone read "the thimble" from Michel Tremblay? If so, I'd love you to break it down for me. My brain isn't working after reading "young goodman brown"...
4:45 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, October 15Sunday, October 14
yes.
a day in the life. tonight, "we" celebrated Sanchia's birthday, I arrived late because I had to see Jordan pull 18 points off in the first quarter, and I just like having the house to myself, however fleeting the time may be. so I get there, and there's the usual fair, people sitting around, people playing cards. there was singing and speeches, all of which I felt very apart from, I felt like a ghost, an unseen phantom looking in on other people's lives. there was the usual tension between me and Sonia, although very low-key because I just didn't feel myself, I didn't feel like I was really there. I guess what I've been worrying about most is how to make monday feel special to a woman a world away. I worry whatever I do won't be enough, and I'm right. I think a somber mood has set in with everyone lately, every site I check seems like the author isn't seeing the sunshine through the clouds, like they're in some wide expanse of gray. I feel like doing so many things, and I can't even seem to move. 3:47 AM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, October 11
Noah's back.
V.S. Naipaul won the nobel prize. And Stef taped Friends for me (I think). All in all, an okay day. 10:01 PM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, October 8Sunday, October 7
Hey will someone tell me exactly what happened in Friends, and did anyone TAPE it?!?! I was stuck in bloody class and forgot to set the vcr, damnit.
3:00 PM | Jus | # | no commentsFriday, October 5
I have a newfound respect for Josh, he might get his ass seriously whipped in Soul Calibur, but this we can forgive.
I woke up at 9, AM, this morning, turned the temperature down so the soothing hum of the fan could lull me back to sleep, which it did, not because I was terribly sleepy, but because I just like sleep. Bliss I tell you. Does anyone have the soundtrack from the iMax movie Extreme? Mmmm, wonderful stuff. 1:59 PM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, October 4
Golly gee, hehehe.
I seem to be pissing everyone off lately... Mark, put that finger away, it's rude =P *lights fire to another bridge* where's the love people, where has all the love gone? 9:56 PM | Jus | # | no commentsWednesday, October 3
oh yeah, and one more thing, will you people STOP getting happy with the css scrollbar colours? CAN I PLEASE SEE THE SCROLLBAR, I'd really like to, y'know SCROLL without having to GUESS the location or the damned thingie, jesus.
7:05 PM | Jus | # | no comments
I think it's a sad, sad thing when you begin to feel old on the internet.
I'm following links from the afore-mentioned boob-watching-victim and I keep coming across blogs run by people who have not fully exited puberty, and I think, god damn, 14 years old and you have a blog, a well designed blog no less, what, are they handing out templates or did people just get really good while I wasn't looking? Sadly enough the content isn't up to par with the effort in most cases, but then that can be said about most journal sites period. Still, I feel outdated. Take me back to never-never land... 7:01 PM | Jus | # | no comments
Hey now, if a guy stares at your boobs for an entire game and you only find out about it after the fact, why be mad? I'd be mad at the friend who neglected to inform you DURING said incident... hmmm.
*justin swears he was not in the country and is clinically blind* 6:49 PM | Jus | # | no comments
Hey man, the site looks good, only one problem. The "find out who's watching what" section gets all wierd with tables overlapping text and screwy alignment. And NO I was NOT using netscape. so there.
11:51 AM | mq | # | no comments
Alrighty then, for anyone who wants to help me out, go beta test the site I built for the Cable Company of T & T, the forms do not currently work because I have to move the files over to their server and I'd just have to change everthing again, but just look out for dead links, spelling, bad layout, images gone screwy, that sorta thing.
So it's finished a month over deadline, which is *not* all my fault, I'm actually still waiting for official confirmation on the layout... Anyway, class has begun again, and it seems I've got another non-stop fun quarter, yes that's right, all the stuff that stressed me out last quarter plus, LITERATURE! Oh this much fun is bound to kill somebody... Trying not to think about certain things, because I'm obsessive like that, and wondering where everyone is these days... JUST REMEMBERED Krystle called for me last night, I was of course sleeping, and did not know it was Krys, I thought it was Christel and considering I was ASLEEP I screamed out to Devon that I was doing as such. Only in the few moments before sleep claimed me again I overheard "long-distance" and "niece", so damn, sorry love... 10:29 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, October 1
currently listening to: Don Byron - C'est Si Bon
why? I don't even know. "I am more than my blog", yes, indeed. we all try our best to carve out our own little piece of the web don't we? We mark out territory the best we can, we feel established by our razor-sharp code and slick graphics, when all our work and effort is really just vapor, nothingness, we exist in a medium that is as solid as the air we breathe, and we will never really feel whole or fully realised until we understand that and don't see this as the end of the road, the ultimate goal. we instead need to use it to go... elsewhere. ...just don't stay here. in other parts of my mind I haven't heard from my better half in quite some time, she's doing exactly what I do, which serves me damn right. sometimes I wonder if coming here was worth the sacrifice. sometimes I can't sleep. and sometimes I lose my way. 1:48 AM | Jus | # | no comments |
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