 Saturday, September 29
Hell f*cking YEAH!
MM3400 Presentation Authoring 3.0: A CA2520 Intro to 3D Modeling 3.0: A- MP2000 Computer Based Training Design 3.0: A MP2520 Digital Video Technology 3.0: A MP3900 Web Site Development 3.0: A- 10:32 AM | Jus | # | no comments
I am 28% Gay, "That's less gay than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation."
It's 10am and I haven't slept, gimme a fucking break. 10:21 AM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, September 27
Ah.
I caught the premiere of "Enterprise", which wasn't that bad, wasn't that great either but bottom line, Dr. Sam Beckett is back, in tights. Talk about wanton sexual overtones, that little scene in the "cleansing chamber" or whatever it was, WOW, vulcans never seemed so hot. I'm awaiting the premiere of Friends tonight, it better be good, damnit it better be good. Spin City also enticed me to watch, but I think they're going to bollocks it all up as sitcoms tend to do, who knows how long they're bringing Michael back for, but it seems they plan to torture the character for as long as they have him, of course, it could - and most probably WILL all have a happy ending, they'd be stupid not to. Hmmm, except for the premiere of Smallville on Arthur's birthday, there's nothing else on TV for me to watch, I think I missed the premiere of Frasier so I'm trying not to think about it... Oh, I guess I should change Jade's site back, but uploading a file is so much work. I've given thought to calling that *expletive deleted* friend of mine Anji, who doesn't really deserve expletives but hey. I don't know if she's alive or dead, so I really wouldn't want to be cursing a dead woman now would I? I know I shouldn't talk. Shush. There's a new Stacey in town, and I believe she warrants mention, and not just because she linked me, I swear... ;) People, hmph, how many people out there are in a healthy relationship, come on, let's see some hands... wow, that... many... huh. Well always nice to know your psychographics. I got up at almost 8pm yesterday, for those who want to gasp. That was pushing it, I think. Oh hey, I have some more 3-D stuff... sox goes 3-D a generic beetle, whoo-child ;) it's rhino time... 6:40 AM | Jus | # | no commentsMonday, September 24
Ah.
I wake up at 6pm, I wander through the remains of the day. I spend time with would-be friends and the ghosts in my head. I am pretentious at moments, hateful at others. I cry far too quickly and wretchedly infrequently. What have I become, that I do not know my own heart? My desires are confused, my lust deadened by ambiguity. I have but one saving grace, one light flickering in my mind, I fear it may not be bright enough to dispel the darkness from all the twisted corners. But I will hang on to you, my hope, or my ultimate damnation, whatever the consequences, I have bound myself to you. I hope, my tortures do not quicken the darkness to come too soon. Melancholy and I are old friends, one whom I try to forget after each meeting, you bastard, you always come back. 4:47 AM | Jus | # | no commentsSaturday, September 22Friday, September 21
YES.
Exams are done. Exams are DONE. This was one of the most trying weeks I've ever had, this time waiting until the last minute to do all my finals finally caught up to me, this week a few more hairs turned gray. One class, my Adobe Premiere class, in which we all had to shoot a video and edit it in Premiere, was the last, and the most strange of them all. I shot the video 2 weeks ago by Arthur, it was based on a sock puppet that couldn't make it into heaven, Arthur was the sock in question and Scotty was Angel Gabriel. All went well I thought, there was a bunch of cursing and violence, but it was supposed to all be taken light-heartedly, you were supposed to LAUGH at the idiocy. Anyway, I bleeped out all the cursing, to be as politically correct as possible and not offend any teachers, but stupid me missed one very important line, which should've been changed ALL together, at one point Arthur said, "I had to beat 3 niggas down for this (bleep)". My god, you should have seen the woman's face. I thought I saw "F" for sure. After begging for my creative freedom rights and explaining it was all in fun, and having that angelic look on my face as I often do (whoo, hahah), I got a B. Okay guys, I think there's been a lot of lapsing as regards all your bloody web pages, Mark seems to be the only one with an internet connection directly to his brain, but the rest of you can still do better! I know, I really shouldn't talk, so that's enough of that now right? I've been checking the usual, easy, mella, manic, lily, jade and tracy, I haven't been checking powazek as often as I used to, and the other 5 or so people I used to with great consistancy, I guess I you people seem more real than anyone else, I'm back to my roots ;) WELL great depression yesterday, Kevan (my soon to be brother-in-law) came over to cheer me up, it was extremely sweet of him, he's got an amazing heart. I called Arthur first but your bastard ass (if you're reading this) was at work. I just needed someone to be around yesterday, and talk, I haven't needed anyone to talk to in a while. Adjusting to life without your significant other isn't the easiest fucking thing to do, and I'm sure that now that school's done I'm going to have a pretty hard time of it, I'll have this apartment all to myself... egads. Okay well more later, if you're so inclined to be reading my pages, welcome back, and sorry for the delay. 6:21 PM | Jus | # | no commentsThursday, September 13
an apology in one hand, an excuse in the other
hey remember me? yeah I used to run a site called mindsight, oh yeah, and one called neuro, I'm not quite sure what happened to them, or me for that matter. life gets in the way right? I actually think that's a song by Grade, anyway. It did, or maybe I just let all the little things pile up until it shut out all the light at the end of the tunnel, yes, I think I was walking my path so cluttered with the everyday worries and stresses and depressions, I couldn't hardly see past them. a number of things have happened in my absence, not the least of which were the attacks in New York, I sympathize with it, I wish it never got off the ground, but sometimes it's hard to stop people who believe in hate, revenge, and holy order more than you believe in the american way, I think most americans didn't have any sense of themselves or their country before this happened, or least they never bothered to think about, they were too content and wrapped up in a false and fragile sense of security, one they have countless government agencies and brave souls to thank for, but this time, the other guys wanted it more. I don't mean to sound cold, or to belittle any of the suffering or loss many countless americans feel, but I'd like to think I'm entitled to my own opinion, and hey, this is my fucking site after all right... I think most of the world and its people, unless they somehow shared a tie with anyone or anything where these attacks took place (just because you're american in no way means you even have ties with your country or its people), weren't quite affected, weren't quite bothered, most of us have become so desensitized to not only violence, but the absurdity of this world, I think a large number were secretly, in some small part of themselves, glad to have something real happen, something they could touch and make their own, even if they had to watch it on a tv screen. this was their chance at reality, maybe their chance to shake their complacency off their mundane shoulders and feel real, feel like they mattered. as for non-americans, as for myself, I doubt I will ever feel so strongly for anything disastrous that happens to America, or Europe or any other great world country or continent, and I'm sure I can make you see and understand my point... in Trinidad not so long ago, there was a coup, terrorists overthrew the government and threw our way of life into a dismal routine of curfews and fear, much of our capital was burnt and destroyed, and I'm positive 99% of the world didn't know, didn't care, and most likely don't want to know, that's our history not theirs, that's our problem, not theirs. all I'm trying to say, from what I've been hearing on my Floridian radio stations and the like, is the utter disgust and hatred some americans are showing to people who aren't showing as much concern as they, especially to anyone of middle-eastern descent, and they need to calm the fuck down. I saw the little children cheering in the streets in whatever bloody middle-eastern country that was, and it sure as hell gave me a sick feeling in my stomach, but don't condemn a country for the stupidity of their leaders, these people have been taught that America is some evil figurehead, they've been told that IT is to blame for their suffering, for they too have lost family, hospitals, schools, and maybe even hope, they see more struggle and warring than most of us won't even glimpse in our lives, so I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying to keep your fucking head on and understand the rest of the world. anyway, I've rambled on long enough about this, and I never thought I'd have more than a paragraph to say about it... whatever though, I'm done, and in case you wanted to know, I do believe, and immensely desire that they should blow all concerned to kingdom come, go ahead and HAVE your own beliefs and culture, go ahead and teach whatever you want taught to your children and your people, but from the time you take it upon yourself to force those things, in any bloody way, onto another country or people you deserve to have your ass handed to you in a hundred different parts, because all of them are alike, all of them are too blinded by their petty and ultimately MEANINGLESS acts of righteousness that they never even consider what the fuck IS right anymore. that's it for now, next installment - my euphoric days with the love of my life and other tales from apartment 4. 12:32 PM | Jus | # | no commentsTuesday, September 11Sunday, September 9 |
|
>> 
