I feel the wretched twisted things in my gut, they leave me with a pained expression, paralyzed in the darkness, longing for release.

I wish I could sleep.

Even when I do, they jar me awake, as if waking from a nightmare.

I want the nightmares to end, I want this year to end, and if I can't have the life that's been dangled in front of me these past few months, I want everything to end.

Make it so #1.

...

Fuck bad timing, fuck misunderstandings, fuck loss, and fuck my damaged broken self. I've invested/wasted so much of myself believing in happily ever afters, turns out they never believed in me. A sick, cruel lie they feed us along with the Tooth Fairy & Santa Claus--it's sad we never seem to realize those happy endings are about as real...

Justin | 3:00 AM