ugh.

Liar. Cheater. Funny how full of shit I was, how amazingly uncaring and evil I was to someone I was supposed to love. For once, "bastard" truly fit.

That's something I'll be dealing with for some time, because I hurt a lot of people indirectly involved, and I'm trying my best to muster the balls and character to deal with that right.

I hate "bastard", but I hate coward even more.

The rest will be said elsewhere, but this is for here: I'm sorry for the people I dragged in. The people I expected support from, and brought into this mess as if I was letting them in on some *hush hush* game. Because without a doubt, that's how I treated it for a while, and I'm utterly disgusted with that fact. I had no right, and I suppose I'm thankful nobody outright slapped me across the face (...although I'm sure Tracey was hard-pressed). I could have used it. Nobody can amaze you more than yourself I suppose.

I'm growing, maybe even up, and trying my best to be somebody I can respect. Lofty goals right? Well...

Justin | 12:52 PM