Forgiveness

It's a funny thing, when do you know it's actually been realized? Someone hurt you, physically, emotionally, you can see the regret in their eyes, hear it in their voice, and it touches you in a way you put aside your own hurt and welcome them back into your arms.

I don't think it ever ends there.

I have a theory, and I believe forgiveness is never a complete process, it's ongoing, that person must be worthy of your forgiveness, and you must be willing to overcome your own pain, each and every time that feeling of being wounded comes back around.

It always comes back around.

I don't think there's a sane person on this earth that truly forgets. "Forgive and forget," it's wonderful fairytale, a myth, an ideal that can never be attained because it so goes against simply being human.

So it comes back, and it hurts, and if you're the one that caused it you've got your own brand of torture to deal with, you relive your mistake in all its awful glory, and you feel about as worthless as you did when you first realized what you'd done.

I've been hurt, and I've been the source of it, I've had my trust broken and broken others, regret - like hindsight - is 20/20, we keep adding to our resumé of regret as life goes on, gloomy I know. My only advice, when those feelings come back try to remember why you forgave at all, and to those on the other side - always be humble with those who forgave you, never take that forgiveness lightly or let it slip into the recesses of memory, it was worth a hell of a lot, and it's something - like your regret - to hold on to.

"You've already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you've done. And you wish you had it to do over. But you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don't matter in the end. Then you will attain character because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face." ~ Phil (Danny DeVito), The Big Kahuna, written by Roger Rueff

Justin | 2:10 AM