Yawzah. I got back in from my long awaited business trip Wednesday morning, after laying over in Atlanta and then Orlando (both a couple hours at a time), in what turned out to be an excruciation 11 hour journey from point a to point b.

And if I've learnt one thing, it's that I hate fucking Delta. Fuck you Delta, fuck you and your $10 sandwiches, your poor attempts at service, and your fucking piece of shit "chairs" you've managed to squash together in neat little rows of three a piece. People, there is NO comfortable position to be found in this contraption, not a one, not even if you've been drinking excessively in hopes of falling into a drunken slumber. Beware.

So, I suppose you want to know what all the hubbub was about huh? Well most of you probably know already, but for those few special people, your friendly neighborhood web-designer just flew up to Los Angeles for a meeting with the big boys over at Golden Boy Promotions, the corporate side and promotions company for one Oscar de la Hoya. Unfortunately Mr. de la Hoya did not grace us with his presence, although I did sit in his chair and admire his view, hey, you take what you can get.

We gave a presentation, we shook hands, and shy of getting a signed Statement of Work this week, I will be building version 4 of this. I'm happy, oh you better believe I'm happy, and... oh... I see the young gentleman in the back with the lighter is also happy; sir, I know you're excited but put that back in your pants. This is a family show.

It's been a crazy last week, I'll tell you that. While we were there we hit Venice beach, and I met some people I never thought I'd met, mostly because I never knew they existed, look I just watch boxing, I don't take notes okay.

Some rain must fall however, and it came down in droves the day I got back. You may all recall a few posts back when I was stressing my translucent ass over my H1-B visa sponsorship, well wouldn't you know it? The company that was supposed to sponsor me, fucked me. Oh maybe they didn't really fuck me, but then why do I still feel so sore?

FESI basically said, "Sorry, but we can't take on the additional risk of sponsoring another H1 employee." Now mind you, this is 2 days shy of my deadline to send the paperwork to the government, and IT WAS THE BLOODY REASON I STARTED FROSTBYTE AS A SUBSIDIARY OF THEIR COMPANY IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE.

BUT anyway, by some AMAZING twist of fate, a guy I hardly know offered to help, and I've got to say that my bloody hat, shoes, and Jurassic Park t-shirt off my back go to Bruce over at Elemental Studios for his unbelievable generosity in this matter, because if it weren't for his out-of-the-blue helping hand my days in the U.S. would be numbered, counting down from 60 to be exact.

Man, I really don't know what to say, I had no other alternative if FESI fell through, and when they did, well fuck, you can just imagine, and then when I had the glimmer of hope present itself in the form of Bruce, and was still able to get out my application in 2 days... People, anybody who knows me knows I'm not a religious man, but somebody was looking at for me on this one. Not only that, but I've heard more than one person say that they said a little extra prayer on my behalf, and well, just the thought meant more than you'll know.

So back to the grind, while I await a response and hope my application makes it in before the government reaches their visa quota, the stress continues, but I don't think it's going to be as bad or nerve wracking as the last week. At least for another couple weeks, right? Right? *faints*

…so much work, so little sleep, fuck, this being self-sufficient shit is hard. Damndest thing is though, I mean you can call me crazy but I still think it beats a 9 to 5.

*out*

I fixed a bug which cropped up in my reminders software, so I uploaded the newest build, I also uploaded the Shockwave version, and the optional Shockwave DLLs in case anybody gets that strange error using the Shockwave version. Did anyone try out freelancer? It was quick I know, but it's only the first release so I need bug testers and usability feedback, (come to think of it, I need that for all the software).

What is this anyway, a personal website just for me? Damn I'm narcissistic, I've got my own domain, my own hosting, I pay money to give the world access to a small window into my life.

But why do I think the world even gives a fuck? Well, I don't, I give a fuck, you missed the narcissistic part didn't you?

This thing we do is a strange calling indeed. It's part diary, part soapbox, part idleness, and part desperate need to belong. Come on now, when last have you seen a weblog without links to some personal clique?

It all emerged from our wonder with this magical thing called the internet, I can talk about Battle Toads with anyone, anywhere in the whole world? That's Awesome! It's the same reason we jumped on mIRC way back in the day (that, and the MP3s ;), and it's the same reason ICQ was the greatest thing since sliced bread, we like making connections, we like it when other people find what we have to say interesting. Is it any wonder our modern-day links resemble our buddy lists of yesteryear?

So we like beings kings of our little realm, now that's a shocker. We like forming allegiances with other kingdoms, sometimes banding together to crush a perceived threat or right some wrong, we like being revered by the little pilgrims out there who are on the outside looking in.

And that's where the web introduced another aspect; now it wasn't just good enough to be interesting in your words, now you had to be interesting in your look too. After all, who's going to listen to you for five minutes if they can't stand looking at you for two? You'd be surprised but it's all too real a fact.

So, we create grand palaces for our little monarchy, we make it look so pretty that people's eyes glaze over and they start to drool within the first 5 seconds of setting eyes on our creation. They view our source code and scratch their head. And we love it.

Or at least that's how it used to be. The time has come that there ain't too much a kid half your age can't do better, and faster, both visually and technically. So what happens next? Well amazingly enough you end up right where you started, with your words being what drives your website, being what keeps both friend and stranger coming back.

In the end though, you've seen it all, done it all, followed the fads and lost your way, until you finally come to realize that your website is about you afterall, and not about linking to the latest Janet booby shot. It's about your perspective and that's what keeps people coming back in the end (of course, boobies help too ;).

Just make sure it doesn't look too wretched and remember, keep your sense of humor, and keep things in perspective. The web is, if nothing else, ephemeral, so enjoy it while you're a part of it, and do something good while you're here, you bloody narcissist.

*jumps off his soapbox, smacks himself with a large trout*

"Especially if you hear yourself using them. It's not just the mob you need to learn to watch from a distance. You need to be able to watch your own thoughts from a distance. That's not a radical idea, by the way; it's the main difference between children and adults. When a child gets angry because he's tired, he doesn't know what's happening. An adult can distance himself enough from the situation to say "never mind, I'm just tired." I don't see why one couldn't, by a similar process, learn to recognize and discount the effects of moral fashions."

I'm really digging this song.

Anyway, life is smacking me upside the head again. I'm much too lazy to be this active, this is not the life of Justin Gosine, something is very wrong here, very, very wrong.

I'm a bum, why am I not content with a bum's existence?

Anyway, whiny bitch am I.

I am on the verge of applying for my H1B Visa, this is a pretty hefty step, the moment this application is approved (please, mighty fist of Judah... what?) I am required to start pulling in the income associated with my position. This is weighing on my mind, and will eventually on my wallet, because guess what, if I don't make enough money I'm going to have to dip in there. Which should make my resolve that much more to actually make the money, but I have a huge "worry for no reason, worry for any reason" center in my brain, and the guys who work there work overtime, even on holidays.

As is usual, I am hard-pressed to make my own decisions, so I turn to you, my friends and the person who got here by searching for "hot monkey loving" on Google. Should I pay an extra grand to my lawyer to get a response from INS in 15 days, or should I suffer the 3 months (to *sometime after that*) waiting period. Keep in mind that as soon as I send in this application I am prohibited from leaving the U.S. until I get a response. Now, if I stay for 3 or more months the number of Visas the government has allotted will be almost gone (added to the fact they cut them in half last year) and I'm going to miss Michelle's graduation, however if I get a response in 15 days I will have to start pulling in the afore-mentioned income immediately. Help.

I keep wondering if I should use Capital Letters in my titles. Hmm.

The Bloggies were announced, and the nominees for best designed site all pretty much suck, I am so trying to get in there next year, just for geekiness. Pick any one of our sites and you're almost sure to have a better design. Mella should rock that shit too.

Diesel Sweeties rock. They rock out. I am late. Bah. Goth girls are also usually hot. Pierce me spank me tattoo me.

Laugh out loud.

I have also come to the realization that I am a drama queen. More on that later. I am also full of anger for no apparent reason, and tend to blow off the excess steam on people who are in frequent contact with me, but usually only when they do stupid things.

It is 7:19am, and I stayed up to watch Secondhand Lions and Inside the Actor's Studio with Johnny Depp. I like Depp, I think I like Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp more than any man has a right to. It must really be early. No homo-erotic fantasies until after noon.

Ah, my adoring readership, goodnight.

Oh yeah, and my trip to L.A. got pushed back one week. Somebody's gotta negotiate a fight with somebody else, blah blah blah, website not more important than millions of dollars and you can't put a price on going out on top now can you? I hope you're confused.

New music somewhere over there ->
My flow be fresh.